The Free Rider Problem continued

Over the last month or so, having examined carefully the sensible/decadent faultline in my brain, I seem to be swerving back to the side of the sensible. This, of course, is not without its own difficulties.

For example, I have adopted a make-do-and-mend attitude to moving house. This stance to various parents/grandparents/inlaws/other is like a big red poncho to an Ecuadorian* fighting bull. All of a sudden, everyone wants to give me stuff...wonderful, no? No.

Why why why would I want a fridge that's older than me? Why does anyone still own such a thing? It is probably personally responsible for half the hole in the ozone layer.**

The other thing that I have found particularly fascinating is that every item offered needs to be repaired or intensively cleaned. By me. And, if it breaks again/ becomes functionally useless/ is too immensely ugly to bear looking at, guess what? You can't just get rid of these things; you can't take them to the YMCA shop or, alternatively, take a sledgehammer to them in the middle of the night. Oh no. They must be returned to their original owner, and you will have to witness the looks of distress and confusion as you try to explain why it just didn't work out between you and the pre-historic fridge, which will then be returned to their garage for the next thirty years, to be foisted onto your children (and possibly grandchildren) when their time comes.

I have found myself sipping tea out of china cups being asked if I need any cups myself. It is becoming increasingly difficult to smile sweetly and say, "China's not my taste/we've already got a set/ they don't really match our colour scheme" when inside I am screaming, "NOOOOOOO! MY HOUSE WILL BE A MINIMALIST PARADISE! ALL MY FURNITURE WILL BE BRAND NEW! ALL MY FURNITURE WILL MATCH! AND ALL MY FURNITURE WILL BE FROM IKEA! NO-ONE HAS BOUGHT A NEW CHINA TEA SET SINCE 1955!!!"

By the way, Mum, thanks for the big telly xx


*Is this the right spelling of Ecuadorian? Please advise. And yes, I did watch Tough Guy or Chicken last night. You too can be as cool as me: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00m9z4r/Tough_Guy_or_Chicken_Ecuador/


**Yes, that's right, there is still a ruddy great hole in the ozone layer-why has this disappeared from the national press??? Let's get angry and self-righteous right now!